Finding help for a loved one who suffers from addiction is sometimes a frustrating and difficult process. You may be used to years of abuse, neglect, lies, theft, manipulation, and other such treatment. If you have a child with an addiction, you may feel as if you are doing all you can to help them with no results. You may stay up late waiting for them to come home, or wondering if they will come home and worrying about a call from the police or hospital. All of these issues can leave you feeling hopeless.
Finding help for a loved one can sometimes feel just as hopeless. One thing to keep in mind is that you must not despair. Don’t give up looking. Maybe your family member has already been to 5 detoxes or more, and you don’t see the point of a 6th. Maybe you’ve paid out of pocket and have already spent thousands on treatment for them.
Plus, there is an issue of making dozens of phone calls, filling out paperwork, and talking to representatives of various facilities. These things can consume hours of your time, but they are all necessary for treatment.
Finding help for a loved one – things to keep in mind
When you are finding help for a loved one, it is important to remember: you don’t control their success. It is often difficult for any family member to help another family member with drug addiction.
Don’t get your hopes up: the chance of recovery is actually slim. That is not to make you feel bad, but rather to put a realistic expectation of what you may find. If your loved one wants to get sober and stay that way, they most likely will. That is of course, assuming they want to make an honest effort. If they aren’t willing to do anything, stop enabling them and stop holding their hand! Give them some tough love, or maybe stick to the commitments you have made (such as not letting them back in the house, seeing the kids, or giving them money).
Also keep in mind that you cannot force them to stop using. As much as you may want to “wring their neck” at times, no matter how much you may care or try, you may have little success in getting them sober. Even medical professionals, and people with decades of experience dealing with alcoholism or addiction (and people who deal with it on a personal level) have difficult helping others stay sober.
Don’t preach or lecture. This just doesn’t work and hasn’t for thousands of years. Approach them from the standpoint of being helpful and caring.
The nature of addiction is a sneaky, cunning, and thought-consuming process that will warp your loved ones brain and thinking. They think they are perfectly okay. And, even if they recognize a problem, they may be only semi-willing or unwilling to do anything about it. This type of thinking will make it hard for them to get any help or sobriety.
Finding help for a loved one – there is hope
So far, this writing may seem depressing and you may feel like you shouldn’t bother. That is not the case, however. There is hope for someone if they want it. Your loved one may come around, and certainly even the most desperate cases have succeeded. Some people who once were homeless, on the streets, and daily drug users with nothing to live for can turn into upstanding citizens and regain their humanity. No matter how low your loved one has gone, it is important to keep a lifeline open to them if they ever seek treatment.
Tags: Finding Help for a Loved One, addiction help, help a family member with drug addiction, how to help an addict who doesn’t want help, how to help an addict without enabling, how to confront a drug addict in denial